As I sit down to write, I glance at my emails to distract myself from the difficult work of writing. An email from Jeff Goins, a best selling author, entrepreneur and my book coach, catches my eye: “If getting everything I thought I wanted didn’t make me happy, what will?”
From a young age, we’re told that hard work pays off. Hard work is noble. It gives us meaning, purpose. Hard work is the reason we get out of bed. Hard work matters. So we end up working hard, chasing success when success is available.
We work to put food on the table. We work to change the world. We work to follow a vocation. We work to prove to the world that we’re someone important. Someone who makes it. Someone who matters. We work to…
In the process, we struggle to keep it all together. We work to be present with our family. We struggle to manage stress, sometimes depression. We struggle to stay sane in a world of crazy busyness. We struggle to keep in touch with our soul. We sacrifice our health. Our marriage. Our mental state. All in the name of success camouflaged by long days on the laptop. When everyone around you is doing the same, it’s easier to stay on the same path. Chasing success becomes inevitable. And inescapable.
Then, one day, we wake up and realize that all that hard work, despite its outer successes like financial rewards, accolades, and accomplishments, was just an activity of doing. It is keeping us away from going deep inside. We never stopped to ask ourselves if this is what we want. Or need. That’s when we realize that we’re brutally misaligned and decide that we need a radical change.
With a failed marriage, 20 pounds overweight, and enough savings in the bank to take at least six months off to figure out your next plan, you call it quits. You hit the delete button of years of hard work you’re proud of. You start asking yourself if you should move to a third-world country and live off the savings in your bank account while bartending on the beach, barefoot, and playing table tennis.
When the fog from the night before drinking whiskey till 2 am wears off, you go outside for fresh air and bacon. And you realize that it doesn’t have to be this way. You got yourself Lil f*cked, but you can change the course.
Latest research states the good life isn’t focused on happiness or purpose, but rather it’s a life that’s ‘psychologically rich’. A psychologically rich life is one characterized by ‘interesting experiences in which novelty and/or complexity are accompanied by profound changes in perspective’.
You start by figuring out who you really are, what you love, where your passions lie, and then the type of work that inspires you and energizes you. LiveWorkPlay Design is about creating the experiences you want to have.
Just because you can be successful making money one day doesn’t mean you should continue to do the same. Who says there’s a certain rule to follow, a recipe for what success looks like? Who says that certain work or business is the “right way” to go. The only way to go. What if instead of work-life balance, work-life integration, work-life harmony, we embrace life-work redesign – creating a high flow lifestyle with high flow work to support it. Making work a meaningful and exciting part of life but not the only part.
The problem I see isn’t that we don’t know what it means to take care of ourselves. There’s so much self-care kool-aid out there I want to puke. It isn’t that we don’t understand well-being is essential and that well-being leads to better performance. You don’t believe that sleep-deprived and exhausted is helpful to deep, creative, focused work. It isn’t that we haven’t heard of burnout and how it’s become a global pandemic.
I’m burnt out from reading about burnout.
It isn’t that we feel tired, stressed out, and overwhelmed. We do it all to ourselves. It isn’t that we’re chasing success in the form of fame, wealth, and possessions. It is, after all, what society, history, and culture are teaching us to do.
The problem is that we don’t create high-flow living and working designing a life that nurtures us and work that inspires us and feeds our energy and soul. We lack lifework redesign. We don’t permit ourselves to do so. We are afraid to shift our perspective and start fresh. The problem is our definition of success is one-sided. The problem is that we’re out of alignment and out of touch with the very things that make us complete, whole, and human.
As a result, we put work first and central. Work, when it becomes our whole existence, is not sustainable. This is the problem. Work, justified by financial rewards, pride, meaning, a noble act, and glorified by society, becomes our life. The only life we have. A necessary, reasonable, and safe place to be. We ignore our mind state, inner freedom, experiences, values, humanity, connections, and soul-filling moments to achieve success we think we’ll bring us closer to happiness and meaning. Failing miserably in the process.
I believe for authentic, sustainable success, we need to reverse our priorities. By focusing on who we are as humans first, the experiences we want to have, and only then, creating the work that completes us and contributes to society in a meaningful way.
LiveWorkPlay Design is the path to dealing with stress, overwhelm, burnout, and a fake definition of success. What is success? Everyone has their definition. With profound simplicity, Coach John Wooden redefines success in a TedTalk viewed by millions- “Peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable.”
Change doesn’t have to be drastic. Small ripples lead to big waves.
It’s time to get unf*cked.
As a thank you, will send you our ebook with real life stories of people and companies who have embraced the unhustle way of living and working and are no longer surviving but thriving.
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